The 2012 Presidential Election is more entertaining to watch than any reality show. If you watch a Republican debate you will see what I am talking about; it seems each candidate has made at least one mistake during the debates. There has been Rick Perry’s infamous “oops” incident, where he  forgot what government programs he would cut if elected, Mitt Romney’s $10,000 bet to Rick Perry over the health care policy and anything Michelle Bachmann ever said, such as challenging the fact that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas and comparing herself to John Wayne Gacy. Yes, John Wayne Gacy the serial killer. (CNN.com)

Sadly, Bachmann announced that she is no longer running for president after finishing sixth in the Iowa Caucus. So, what are the American people supposed to do for entertainment now? Sure, she had absolutely no chance of winning, but it was nice to have her around.

So now we are left with six Republican candidates. I have given each candidate a special nickname and my own personal opinion of them.

Rick… I Forgot His Name…. “Oops.”: Rick Perry has made a fool of himself many times and to put it delicately, his mind just isn’t all “there”, if you get what I’m saying.

Velvet Thunder: Mitt Romney is a smooth talking man and has the best chance of getting the nomination, but he has to make sure he doesn’t put his foot in his mouth like he has done in the past.

Rick Sanitarium: It freaked me out when Rick Santorum placed in a close second behind Romney in the Iowa Caucus. His views on everything social are crazy, such as introducing amendments that would allow creationism to be taught in schools and comparing gay marriage to polygamy. If he were to become President, I would move to Canada. (NYtimes.com)

Scared Puppy: Ron Paul has your run of the mill Conservative views. He could be a viable candidate, but I don’t see him as an assertive enough person to lead our country.

Black Kettle: Newt Gingrich had a $500,000 Tiffany’s bill, so no, I do not want him in charge of fixing our economy. He has also been married three times, but wants to “defend marriage.” I am sorry Newt, but you give hypocrite a whole new meaning. (businessinsider.com) (CNN.com)

Forgotten Child: Out of everyone running, Jon Huntsman is my personal favorite. It is nice to see a candidate that agrees with science, unlike his opponents. He believes in global warming and evolution, which sets him apart from the other candidates. But sadly, he is in last place out of the six people running. It would be nice to see him run as an Independent in the election, because of his moderate views. (Washingtonpost.com)

Ladies and gentlemen, let’s face it, this pool of candidates is a joke. Think of the 2012 Presidential Election as a marathon between Obama and the six candidates: Obama is in first place, in second place is Mitt Romney with a broken leg, Newt Gingrich is in third with two broken legs, Rick Santorum is missing a leg, but is still hobbling around the track. In fifth place is Rick Perry, running around the track the wrong way. In sixth place is Ron Paul, but it doesn’t look too good for him since he fell asleep on the track and in last place we have John Huntsman, who is missing both of his legs, but just will not give up.

Although it is entertaining to make fun of the Republican candidates, it is still very frightening that this is the best we have to offer. Out of all of the Republicans eligible to run for President, we get stuck with these six clowns? You could say that I am being harsh, but if you plan on running this country, you better be the best of the best. And sadly, these six are the complete opposite.