I have lived in Wildwood, MO for 15 of my 17 years, and if I have learned anything, it’s that there are many ins and outs to surviving the winter season. When it nears that time of year, students must game up and be prepared for anything.
However, if you just moved here, or are somehow oblivious to the dangerous and unpredictable weather that envelops the metro area during these next few months, listen up.
You see, there are two types of winter seasons in Missouri: the “I can’t believe it won’t snow, I really need a day off school,” winter, and the, “OMG it really needs to stop snowing now,” winter.
Last year’s seven snow days and countless schoolbus and traffic delays on Highway 109 and Clayton Road definitely qualify the 2010 winter season as the latter type.
So in the probable event that Missouri will turn into the North Pole again this year, here are some DOs and DON’Ts on making it through the storm:
DON’T: Run out of your house at 8:09 and expect to arrive at school on time. There will be snow on the roads and ice on your windshield. Traffic will move at a brisk 3 miles per hour. You will most likely not be able to accelerate or brake. You want to leave yourself triple the normal amount of time it takes you to get to school just in case.
DO: At the first sign of snow, sit by your home phone and stare at it, hoping and praying and begging that Rockwood School District will appear on your caller ID and Bruce Borcher’s lovely voice will inform you that there will indeed be a snow day.
DO: A snow dance. Or put an orange in the freezer. Or wear your pajamas backwards. Or whatever else is supposed to bring snow. Because trust me, if there isn’t enough snow to cancel school, there will still be enough to make your day difficult. It’s all or nothing: once it starts snowing, you want the day off. None of this 1/2 inch and you’re good to go to first hour nonsense.
DON’T: Think that you can ice skate on your driveway. You will fall and look like a fool in front of all your neighbors and miscelaneous dog walkers on your street. Trust me.
DON’T: Flip out at the first flurry if you’re already at school. Because the only thing less likely to happen than Rockwood cancelling school is Rockwood cancelling school once we’re already in the building.
DON’T: Confuse “Richwoods” and “Rockwood” when watching for snow day alerts on the bottom of your TV screen. It’s always going to be Richwoods. Never us. Just accept it.
DO: Look for Parkway on the bottom of your TV. Rockwood and Parkway stick together. 99% of the time, if Parkway’s off school, we are too.
DO: Leave your house for the safe haven of St. Louis Bread Co. If the roads are too dangerous to travel to school, it does NOT mean they’re too dangerous to travel to Bread Co. The promise of hot drinks and free WiFi will call a giant crowd regardless of how much snow blankets the town that day.
And, last but not least, come prepared. Have a game plan. Keep a coat and gloves in your locker and an ice scraper in your car. Be prepared for the worst. Hope for the best. Good luck.
